finally got going on this paper but now all I can think about is our lovely morning, waking up to your sleepy green eyes, our laughter in-between kisses, the feeling of your fingers tracing my skin, closing our eyes to avoid the world outside - stay here a little longer you whispered
Somehow I’m writing thesis two this year - this time it’s centered around Louisiana and prisons. However the locus is again on humanity and morality like it was in last quarter’s paper. I’m starting to see a definitive theme in my writing and I’m glad I can ground theory in the actual, although I wish I could share these ideas with more people - but no one likes talking theory :| whatever happened to those café I read so much about growing up? the ones with artists and philosophers, with radicals and writers? the love struck, the heart broken, nihilists, humanists, the political, the poets, the alcoholics, the emotionally unstable? the desperate disparate whose conversations somehow always came back to the human condition, the seemingly only topic worth speaking about
I should go outside by me
meta
my eyes are heavy from writing all day, I write everything by hand now and only sit at a computer when I need to, which is at the end of the process, I’m tired, stuff never makes sense at the end I need to rewrite it all
*independent sassy super fierce tomboy sometimes funny sometimes girly intelligent spanish speaking nihilist extropianist non-make up wearing cisgenderFem sort-of with poststructuralist feminist tendencies & sexual orientation fluidity seeks other rad people*
in an effort to answer questions I receive by not answering them individually but together, because fuck you guys - joking, I’m just lazy. do people talk about their sadness on the internet?
I can’t remember what the rules of not being a loser online are but here’s a picture of me crying the other night - i think I was thinking of how shitty depression can be some days and how you can hardly stop it when it creeps up on you like a dense fog or some other romantic analogy
as I was crying I decided to snap a shot of myself so I could look at it later, who says van gogh didn’t cry when he worked on self-portraits? an exploration in the depths of my character or something
Negra espalda del tiempo (Dark Back of Time) y Mañana en la batalla piensa en mí (Tomorrow in the Battle Think on Me) por Javier Marías
me compré estos dos libros hoy por dos razones, uno - porque echo de menos la lectura en español, y dos - como regalo a mi mama para el día de la madre, espero que no piensa poco de ellos. Quisiera encontrar a alguien con quien leer en español o por lo menos alguien con quien conversar, algunos días es difícil vivir sólo en Inglés, se siente pesado en la lengua, como una piedra encadenada a mi pie, lo arrastro hasta que nada tiene sentido
la gente unas veces es egoista, te chupan la energia, se dejan sentir bien mientras que tu te sientes mal, te manipulan a pensar que has hecho algo mal, es cierto - algunas veces tenemos que poner límites, incluso cuando queremos ser amoroso
“Remember the time we were shirtless in bed? You fed me sushi and brought me beer? You massaged my shoulders and planted kisses all over my chest? I was so pampered that day. I alredy knew I loved you, then I knew some part of you had to love me”
Did I love well? Someone remembered me this way.
off campus research is being a little bitch right now and I need to write this god damn thesis outline >:|
Going back home. Traveling alone is one of my favorite activities.
Traditional Bridal Mehendi [x]
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I wish there were more characters and real life teachers like Ms. Grotekey
RELEVANT
Very relevant
